Moving to NJ – Deam or Destiny

Random shit happens to all of us. I was laid off without any prior notice and without any fault of mine. Companies just don’t understand how they crush someone’s dreams about life in just moment.

Dreams like yours, like mine.. graduation dreams, dreams to see their proud parents sitting near the graduation rows, pay off your college loan, moving in with your special someone, buy a very cherished and long awaited electronic device or may be just nothing. Just a happy moment in short!

Well honestly, after 6 months of soul and job searching, I figured I had to give consultants a try.

Graduating from one of best schools in the North America, I had a rough time doing this. I adopted a certain lifestyle that I think is the best anyone should be doing. I set aggressive targets for me in terms – rigorous gym, tenacious swimming regime, strenuous book reading, and tough healthy eating, and a strict walking routine.

My walking partner, a female friend “H” decided to send my resume to a couple of friends and float it and see what happens. So I gave my resume to her boyfriend “N” and decided to see what happens.

Two days after in the morning, I got a call from this guy “J” for a phone interview. I got it  So the next thing I know, I have to physically be here in NJ. Ground zero!! I decided to come to the same person “N” for this temporary accommodation and before I know I was packing up my stuff for a 5 day visit to NJ.

Some say dreams are your reflection. Some say dreams are mere revelations; some say some sort of calling. I will buy that! Dreams are generally your calling, and you should listen to it. I did. I do. I was watching this movie called Latter days, and I heard this quotation

“Like the game we played when we were kids, joining the dots. Life is full of those dots and you will see that may be they don’t make sense right now, but they will make sense later on, just keep on joining them. ”

That is what dreams were to me. – Dots connecting my life to a meaning, so that I can fulfill my dream to give meaning to the entire world.

Till my next rambling! Chao!

The beginning – How it started?

Disclaimer: This blog post is written with the intention of sharing one of my important life altering moments and is solely written to express my gratitude towards that moment and Mr. KJ.

It is the tension between creativity and skepticism that has produced the stunning and unexpected findings of science.
— Carl Sagan

It was sort of early evening in August of 2005 when sun was about to go for the day. Faintly I remember, there was absolutely no hope of winds in the air and with it’s sultry outlook, I understood it was the beginning of fall that year. Entering from outside was my own barely seen shadow passing by the first gate. On the left I saw our dogs Bruno and Tommy. If I remeclearly year 2005 was Bruno’s third birth year and for obvious reasons he was young and sturdy. He would play with me all the time and whereas Tommy on the other hand was fragile and pale looking. Well it is not his fault. Breed of that dogs are known to be of similar health. And more importantly, playing with Tommy was never my fun moment.

As I entered my  own house complex from the gates after the first black gate, I saw KJ aka Mr.Tenant. He is one of brothers of our tenants. Over the last ten years, they have enjoyed living here and as much we have enjoyed having them here. Even though they decided to move out in late 2008 to their own house. I continue to wander myself with them. Last time I talked to him, he works at a deluxe group of hotels in New Delhi, near to the north campus Delhi University.
He as I walked to the main entrance of our house was standing and he looked into my eyes and said “What’s up?”

I replied “Hello! Nice weather outside! I was just coming from my private tuition classes. How are you doing?”

He looked calm and said “How is your application process coming along? So are you still applying for the schools in the US and New Zealand?” He looked intrigued.

I looked perplexed clearly. I was befuddled to decide to lend my voice to which of my thoughts? Agreeably, I had so many of them and all of them crushed my sanity to death every second in my mind. Going into the whirlwind of thoughts and the actions all around those thoughts, I got even more confused..what should I say, yes to US, maybe to New Zealand schools..! Which schools? New York, Missouri or Auckland or Christchurch!! What should I say? Which of the countries I should go to?

He looked at me and I looked back at him and said “Honestly I have been thinking what to do. I have this imbroglio of choosing the right university and country in the background. I am young in my education and I think it would be a decent decision to choose US for obvious reasons.”

I stared right into his eyes and wandered away immediately after that. In the backdrop, I realized that it was hard for me to capture my thoughts in totality and let myself be sure of one definite thought.

I continued saying “I am actually a little inclined to go to New Zealand. I got family there. It might of some assistance when I am alone and may need something. This country is growing and life standards are equally good. May be if I stay over a little longer, I can stay because New Zealand is happy to have educated people on their land.” He looked to the tree to his left in our garden and then he looked at me. He said something that I haven’t forgotten till day.

He said “Look. No matter what comes by your way and what options you have, always try for the first best. If you do not have the option of trying for the first best, then settle for the second best. But never ever settle for the second best!”

Startled I looked at him.

I said to one own-self in my mind “Yeah, this is something concrete. But I still don’t know what option is the right one.”

Again, I looked at him and said “Uh, yeah. You know what, it helps. May be, it’s a little easier with that thought in my head now. Thank you!”. He looked at me & smiled.

“You’re welcome”, he said.

And it was in one moment, it was so clear to me what I was missing. And in one moment I knew what I was supposed to do. No confusion any more grip my mind and I was already ware what kind of school I was going to try.

This is nothing more than a regular short small talk type of conversation. But if you read between the lines, it is easier to see and you will see that the message is a lot bigger. Never settle for the second best option. One should always aim for the first best, that too always. Always First best!! Just the very first best, always!

Thought I would share with you guys how my journey to achieve the very best started. On another note, my journey to achieve the very best has started on a good note, but it is long way from halting now.

Fair day people!

Just a crazy may be thought!

DISCLAIMER: This post is not a post related to PhD struggles or education in general. If you want to steer away, please avoid reading this post.

Every Sunday I have a little ritual that I follow. For the people who care to know, I am a staunch believer in the existence of the Lord. A free thinker and a non religion conformist, I guess I would say to myself. On this note, I don’t have any particular religion that I conform to, but I do follow teachings of most of the prominent religions of the world.

New York is home to religions and religious places. This Sunday I went to a Sikh temple and there I had a moment. Well, I could not find any other decent or fancy name/word to describe what I experienced.

Here is the Pre-cursor
Sikhism is a religion originated in Punjab, India. First spiritual leader (aka Guru), Guru Nanak Dev ji when was searching for his successor, He met Guru Angad Dev ji in his preaching journey across Indian Sub-continent.

It is something like this –
When passing by through a village with his followers, since his spiritual enormity always exceeded his physical presence, Guru Nanak Dev Ji was offered a lot of materialistic stuff as money, jewels, land, food etc as offerings and part of remembrance. As they moved from one village to another village, his followers would gather all the stuff and move ahead. This “stuff” would generally have a lot of money and materialistic materials.

As soon as Guru Nanak Dev ji would reach the next village, he would donate all of it to the poor and needy people. Seeing this donation and non-attachment to materialistic life, some of the followers started to think that why would Guru Nanak dev ji do this all the time? Why can not keep what he gets, he can earn and get all rich and worthy! Sensing this sense of thought, Guru ji (as they said) asked his followers to pick up some of the offerings. After the followers took their portions of offerings and started to move, they started to feel heavy with the stuff they were carrying. Villages after villages, his followers bag became heavy and heavier. And soon it became very heavy, even to move.
When Guru ji reached the last village on his entourage, only one person was behind him. It was Guru Angad Dev ji.

Surprised he looked and asked Guru Angad Dev ji why are you still following me when no one is?? Why did you not take any of those offerings?? Don’t you feel attacted to these jewels and this money of all the heavens?? To this, Guru Angad Dev ji said, ” Sir, I don’t want any of those materialistic offerings, whatever I have ever wanted, I got all of them just by following your foot steps. Everything I have ever wanted for my life and my soul, I got it just by following you and your teachings. Whatever you say goes for me, like a line drawn in the stone. “. Listening to this, Guru Nanak Dev ji said, God bless thee

So, I guess what hit me hard and deep was the fact that “Even though he himself was a spiritual leader and he could had everything that he needed, but in his righteous mind following his Master’s advice was worth more than everything in his life; The path to success, spiritual glory and all the riches of life, originate from the lotus feet of his Master”

I hope you can share some of your stories and experiences Or at least inspire others with your stories and experiences.