It wasn’t my thing or was it ?


Just like anyone, and everyone, I love pizza. Eating pizza has always been my thing.  Especially those extra cheese, extra sauce, pizza pies. They are my family’s favourite too. It’s hard to not eat them even after dinner 🙂

It was almost 3, on my iPhone that afternoon and soon it would be the time to leave from work, when I sent him a text asking to may be, meet today. He said yes, but suggested to meet at 730 instead of 530 pm. I remember, taking a deep breathe before sending him my response.

Now, if you have been following my stories at this blog, from a while, you will know, I love moments like this. In next one moment, I had two thoughts competing for validation; competing for coming into existence and what happened next, is what I am sharing with you.

Instant thought: How long can I wait for him ? How long can I do this? how long can I continue to wait for him?  Is it even rational to do this?  Am I going to wait for him today? Is this going to happen just today? Will this start a series of events where I will end up waiting for him, this late?  Will this mean, I am going to start waiting for him every time I want to hangout with him? Will he get used to it?   Will I do this in future? Will I continue to wait after years of knowing him?

What I thought after this, is the core of my being. OR my ideal being.

Tangential thought:   I would like to wait for him, so I can see him, hold hands with him, and hug him & be hugged.  He is wonderful like that and that’s why we are a match. Till the moment of writing this blog (which is exactly a week after when it happened), I still like this guy.

The moment of decision had arrived and in an instant, I said yes. But only I know that in an instant how many miles did I cross.  I crossed a few miles in affection, a few miles of compassion, a few miles of kindness and a few miles of belonging.

You might have heard that history repeats itself.  My spotty past tells me, I never waited so long to meet anyone in my life.  I never did that. I can’t remember one instance where I made others wait so long, without letting them know.   Next moment, I asked myself – Why? Why am I waiting or this guy?  May be, because, I saw me falling for him, slowly but surely; and I said yes to meeting after 2 hours of my work.

Human mind is a complex thing.   The more I see him, the more I keep wanting to see him.

Another thing I did before I met him was to order us food — pizza and hence the introduction to my love of pizza. He loves pizza too. That’ makes us a couple (ha ha) but really isn’t it cool that your special person also likes the same things as you do(at least some of them, if not all of them)

By 7, he sent me a text telling me that he should be in the area soon. And guess what the whole timing of pizza delivery guy coming and meeting him worked out. I called him to ask where he was and where he might have reached by now.  I stepped outside of my work with my umbrella, two bags and two pies in my hand. And it was just then, I saw him through the rain falling onto the road.

So clear, so crisp and so far. Looking at him, my heart rate went up and only sometimes I am at loss of words, and this was that moment.  In words, I find it a rare skill to describe how I felt then.  But I will get to it, some day.

I started walking towards him and in next 30 seconds I had reached where I wanted to reach — in his embrace, my lips near his lips and my hands holding his hands.   He leaned forward to give me a kiss and hugged me tight and kissed me again to make sure his presence was noted.  Suddenly, the rain didn’t matter, the weight of the two bags on my shoulders ceased to exist, the two pies which were hot and supported by my palms, didn’t hurt as much as they would hurt.  And suddenly, I was at rest and it seemed like, I was home.

Breathe after breathe, I was enjoying this moment, and after a few moments had passed, I asked him for suggestions for a place to sit & eat pizza. We didn’t know what to do. Our usual spot at the rooftop was not an option, because it was pouring. And it was intense.  We decided immediately to go to the platform and sit there. But before we could do that, I went in to the nearest Dunkin to grab some napkins.

I kept thinking in my heart – I have never done this before. In that instant, I felt myself listening adeptly to one sentence over and over again – “you haven’t done this before”. You haven’t done this before. A hundred times, a thousand times, a million times;  repeating itself over and over again.  At this point I said to myself- so what I haven’t done this- but there is a lot I haven’t done.

Life is strange and I need to do weird things which (will) liberate me of myself.  Till last year, I never had lost 54 lbs of baby fat.   Till last year, I never ran my first Half Marathon.   Till last year, I never thought, I would move to my new apartment.   You get the idea 🙂

In that moment, I proposed to sit at the platform and eat pizza.  I thought to myself, this is really happening. I am going to sit at the platform (completely unhygienic) and eat pizza out of box without any condiments, and without a plate using the napkins from dunkin!!!! (of all places) In a few minutes, we entered the platform and it very well did happen.

We sat at the platform and made ourselves comfortable.  As soon as he looked to the pizza. he said to me, “you’re the best boyfriend ever” I smiled and said “thanks. You’re good yourself”. Since I am became a vegetarian since July 2014, I order a pie for myself, completely vegetarian. For him, I ordered another one, which was with chicken and jalapeños peppers.

What happened next remains to be told, but I should tell you, that it is only of those moments, that he is helping me live my life, without trying, without pushing me, but I am coming out of my shell and for that, I am in awe of him. Completely in awe.

What is your moment of awe ? Any thoughts?

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