Traditionally a failure, continuing to be a failure 

Fat shaming, body shaming, and other kind of negative criticism might haven’t helped others, but thinking about the colossal scale of failure I have proven to be in last few days, I can’t believe myself. 

The thought of meeting the birds in the wee hours of morning, is enticing however difficult to happen. Every time that alarm rings, I get up and snooze it and go to bed again. Shall I ask the hand which goes to touch that snooze graphic on the phone or should I blame the mind that is behind the hand, sending signals to it to not to touch the stop sign and touch the snooze, instead. Should I blame the last caller before going to bed, because they took my 30 minutes from my sleep time. Or may be I should stop the blame game all together. 

Blame is an interesting human response. You see, it’s born out of frustration; frustration of not being able to do something, frustration of not being able to see your plans through, frustration of not being able to meet the expectations of the yourself/people, frustration of something unsual or unexpected happening, which may adversely impact the outcome of the actions. I am sure, you can relate to one or more of these. If not, I am happy to hear your definitions down below. 

Blame continues to intrigue. It usually has a pattern. It starts with an adverse impact associated with an action. Most often people can identify the adverse impact such as “sorry I failed my exam!” Or more generically “I feel miserable inside” and many many more. This is where people fail to identify the action associated to it. Let’s take a case, Why do you feel miserable inside ? Nature of this question is rhetorical understandably and hence the answer must also come from within. It may be due to a loss that you don’t have a closure on, it may be because you’re in debt and you’re miserable inside because of it, it may be due to the social pressure as seen on Facebook or Instagram or any other individual rationale. 

But the question that doesn’t leave me – why am I, a continued failure?

The optimistic (OP) part in me, talks so much more than my pessimistic(PE) side. The OP wants to tell myself a few things 

– you try new things that why you fail 

– you keep adjusting yourself based on life and lemons thrown by life, and hence you fail so often

– be proud that you’re not the same person from yesterday 

– be proud that you have dreams

-be proud that you’re passionate, yes you fail often to work to fruition on those passions but you try 

– Look at how far have you come 

And many more !!! 

The PE however isn’t convinced. The argument it holds is

-Future can’t be build on the past accomplishments 

-Present is where you have to invest 

-Your failure to meet even the simplest goals, tells me that you’re don’t want the goals, you just want to chill 

– you’re lazy as f**** and don’t want to work hard. 

And many more !! 


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